Especially now that I am more aware I am being watched, I always get paranoid of how people read me when I post things. It is more of a reflection that I still cherish than directing it presently at any particular person. I was talking with some friends in the restaurant the other day about her and I thought I wanted to elaborate more on her. I think it was a Dr. and a godsend who made her famous. I guess in addition with all of the Arab pressure, the tallest building being built in Dubai, and feeling like many are rubbing it in, I think of a happier memory in my times of distress. Of course, I don't always have passionate feelings as she does toward her lover as I would have toward the Arab attitude men. I feel that way towards the realistic men too, the men that I can actually see, but I think the song has a more obvious and loud expression of the woman's voice.
Personally, I hate it when I feel my actions are resorting to this song. I feel like I have transcended even this song, but I feel in such despair when I still meet men to this day where they are so out of sync, self-aborbed, selfish, and not even thinking to how the lady feels. The lyrics don't completely match me, but I understand the entire attitude of it all. I don't usually use another guy to make an interest jealous. I don't think I should have to. I either get rejected and walk away, or I am the rejector. Like a guy would do when an interest he likes rejects him, most of the time he walks away as well. I think most other women either cry for him, beg, or compete to get him. OK, I can admit that I have cried over men before, but I am consistent in keeping my pride and dignity rather than asking him what is wrong with me. I'm not the type to play games or do the typical girl thing; a person likes me or they don't. I feel her lyrics moreso with the controlling ones: "What if I made you cry?" "What are you mad, you can't handle that?" Usually, I am cool, calm, and collected about it. I allow a man to make his assertions and shots. I make my own as well, but I think most guys can't handle it when I do. I've remained single so long, sometimes I think it takes a dramatic song like hers for other guys to get it. Sometimes, even a firm choice with a calm attitude doesn't really bridge or reach a guy for him to completely get it.
I feel like I have remained consistent with valueing myself for so long, to see the tower in Dubai makes me feel like I have to teach boys in kindergarten again. I guess this is how people see me as a Cougar.
Ciara, I admire you and your bravery to sing this song so much! I've heard consistent rumors that she is a hermaphrodite. I had people trying to make me paranoid before with being a hermaphrodite. At the time, it was a humiliating experience. I don't know if I was really born with a dick; I know I don't have one now. Even if I were or anyone else was, people should never ever be ashamed of who they are or the way they were born. If they want a sex change, I'd probably get one, but to be ashamed of my very birth or genes, I won't be. I think Ciara is so beautiful and this song brings encouragement to me in the times we are living in.
No comments:
Post a Comment